Where to even begin? Things have been absolutely crazy the past month or so.. The infamous Matt was of course a huge part of it all and then I got a huge bomb dropped on me from my guy.
So long story short, I hooked up with Matt and then he completely ignored me.... AGAIN. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know... You would think I would finally learn.. Guess not. So that happened and I got revenge by posting a FU dance video on my Instagram which my little sister so kindly tagged him in... Whoops.. He got what he deserved.. Well there is others but they aren't exactly legal.. Sooooo. He blocked both of us on Instagram & I deleted him completely out of my life. Fingers crossed it will actually last this time..
Since the end of May i have been talking to this other guy.. He lives out in California and does not exactly have the best reputation.. But he has been nothing but perfect to me. I have fallen pretty hard but I can't have him... Which freaking sucks. He will be home in less than two months but then leaves for good again after about five months. We are not dating or even classified as "talking" but I have grown to truly care for the guy and honestly cannot picture my life without him. But of course things aren't simple in my life and things have gotten weird between us here recently.. I am absolutely terrified for him to be home because I can't keep compromising my beliefs and goals in life for a guy. I did that plenty of times with Matt, and I just cannot keep doing that.. It isn't good for me. If he would've been before Matt, everything would be so different..
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