Sunday, December 21, 2014

December 21, 2014

Want vs. Need 

I want a man who will fight for me. I want a man who is terrified of losing me not because he cannot live without me but because he doesn't want to. I want a man who will laugh at my dry sense of humor and try to understand why I hide behind it. I want a man who wants me even with all of my quirks. I want a man to love me at my best and worship me at my worst. I want a man who will love me at 4 am with mascara running down my face because I remembered something that tore my heart in two. I want a man to look at me how every girl wants to be looked at. I want a man to want me just as fiercely and protect me if I cannot protect myself. I want a man who will let me be who I am and not try to hold me back. I want a man that wants to stay in and watch sports because simplicity is just as important as complexity. I want a man to embrace the chaos that is my life because without it he would not be complete. I want a man who will dance with me in the pouring rain because it involves my three favorite things. I want a man who will show me off in public not because I need the acceptance from others but because he is proud to have me in his life. I want a man who will love me passionately because without passion there is nothing at all. I want a man who will be loyal to my face and behind my back because he knows I have been let down before. But most importantly I want a man because I will never need a man. 

December 20, 2014

Priority vs. Option

I am not the type of girl who is someones second choice. Or the girl who will wait until you have time for her. I am not stuck up and think that I should be number one at all times, because i know that isn't how a relationship is. Let alone how I want my relationship to work. But i expect effort and sadly to this day I have gotten none. I tend to let people walk all over me, but I am done with that. I have standards and expectations and I am tired of lowering them just so I do not have to end up alone. If alone is what I have to be to stop getting rid of my morals for people who do not deserve my time then alone I will be and honey I will make alone look so damn good. I know that I am not the greatest person or the nicest but I know what I deserve and I will not settle for anything less than that. I am done changing myself to become someone that everyone will easily like. I am complex and extremely difficult, but that is what makes me, me. I've lost myself along the way before, but I am done getting lost for the wrong people. For now, I am going to do me and see where that takes me. Because I am a priority not just an option. 

-JLS